My Best Friend's Wife

from Rattle #36, Winter 2011
 

I wish I was in love with my best friend’s wife.

Oh, the tragedy I’d get to be part of.

No one would ever know, of course,

this secret forever locked inside—

but how utterly and painfully romantic,

something out of a Shakespearean tragedy

or, at the very least, ’70s rock.

Every time I would see my best friend’s wife,

something inside me would suffer and die.

How wonderful! I would spend my time

trying to not think of her and writing poems

not unlike this one that I would never dare let anyone see.

Oh, my best friend’s wife and I would never be together—

how tragic and powerful and utterly profound.

 

But I am not in love with my best friend’s wife.

My best friend is unmarried—divorced,

in fact, and there is nothing wonderful and tragic

about being in love with your best friend’s ex-wife.

I think of that mythical and magical moment

where I approach my best friend and I say,

“Best friend, I am and have forever been in love

with your wife,” and compare it to the moment

where I approach him and say, “Best friend,

I am and have forever been in love with your exwife”

and I think of the two different reactions

I would get from those two possible moments

and, even though he may someday remarry,

I realize that I will not suffer the beautiful tragedy

of being in love with my best friend’s wife anytime soon

and I realize even further that this is entirely his fault.